“What is so rare as a day in June,” asks one poet. Nothing would be the answer, if that day is Father’s Day.
Throughout the nation Father’s Day continues to gain recognition since its inception in 1910. When the custom began over a century ago the White father was basically viewed as sole breadwinner and master of all his possessions–that included his wife and children.
The Black father of that era was likewise considered the primary breadwinner although on a much different scale, working mainly in the fields, coal mines, on railroads and at other hard labor, especially in more rural areas.
Through the years some began to assume more prestigious professions in education, medicine, law and even higher positions with hotels, railroads and other big corporations. Most however, were private entrepreneurs (of necessity) throughout the segregated south. But indeed were the fathers of that era who spent much time with their children as, “The woman’s place is in the home,” was the commonly accepted rule during those times. In today’s version, “The woman’s place is in the House–and the Senate, at the head of corporations and in the pulpits of ever increasing religious denominations.”
Subsequently, few Black fathers of the past were educated as they and often their sons had to support the family and pay for the education of the females who were encouraged to receive higher education. This early disproportionate equation resulted in many Black females returning from predominantly White colleges and universities of that era with the choice of marrying uneducated males or remaining a spinster–as many chose to do. The effect on the children of these “unequally yoked” couples depended upon how tactfully the awkward situation was handled on both parts and too often, not well, as in the case of my parents. But divorce in those days was unheard of, especially among Black families. Thus the crippling emotional effect on each successive generation continues to take its toll.
As the playing field began to level with more educated Black fathers, appreciation and respect began to increase adding new impetus to the growing popularity of Father’s Day which unfortunately began to decline over the past decade amid new socially accepted trends of same-sex marriages, school dropouts, and single parent teens whose assistance will cease should they get married. During such confusing times the need to band across every manmade divide to save the family unit could not be more obvious. For the unity of the family of mankind is contingent upon models of increasing unity among the individual family, so easily scattered when severed at the root.
So it is to the fathers of yesteryear who bore the brunt of the family’s workload, often unrequited, that we pay special homage this Father’s Day. Special honor is also extended to the many who have, and continue to serve as surrogate fathers and mentors through sports teams, Scouting, school, after school and other ongoing programs for the wholesome development of children and youth. For with the changing face (and age) of motherhood it is becoming more incumbent upon the fathers to assume responsibility for the physical, mental and even spiritual wellbeing of today’s children, not just our own but increasingly, the children of the world.
We would then remind the fathers of this new day of the challenge of Black educator Benjamin Mays who states: “It is not your environment it is you–the quality of your minds, the integrity of your souls and the determination of your wills that decide your future and shape your lives”–and posterity.
~ HAPPY FATHER’S DAY ~
