Beginning with Pre-Thanksgiving preparations in anticipation of family gatherings, thoughts inevitably continue to drift toward the ensuing holidays that incorporate many different observances and celebrations that direct our thoughts and actions more on others than on ourselves. Prior to this season we become invariably caught up into the mundane traps of everyday living that each month successively adds up to mere survival for many.
“Man wrapped up in self makes small package,” is a familiar Chinese proverb. However in today’s dehumanizing and insensitive, mercenary society, many are driven toward becoming potentially “self-wrapped” for survival or protection from professional agencies and service providers whose names, professions and services were once trustworthy. Not so today! But then self-preservation is one thing; Selfishness is quite another.
One must love and respect oneself to the extent of governing words and actions in order to serve as a model rather than a mere critic, yet not to the point of becoming locked in the prison of self. Such feeling of superiority or extreme self-love, just as self-hate, tends to invariably separate us from others. But the human ego is so subtle that we often do not recognize certain acts and expressions of selfishness. Among them we may find: “I must be first!” Our competitive culture makes it extremely difficult to free one’s self (child or family member) from having to be first. Such strivings, often induced by parents (perhaps who never were) can often produce more separatism than fellowship and unity.
Another clear signal is “I must get my way.” The methods by which people try to dominate others are of two types, active (obvious) as use of physical force, bullying, boasting, temper tantrums or other excessive noise attractions; and the less obvious as “frequently finding fault with others;” or Backbiting (whether speaking or listening of evil in the absence of those spoken of).
Also unsuspected as egotism might be: talking too much-–actually depriving others of the opportunity to express their knowledge or opinions; or even talking too little, depriving others of your ideas and experiences for fear of making a mistake. There is also talking too loud, attracting unwarranted attention; or even talking too softly–that others have to make special effort to hear what is being said…and the list goes on and on in a priceless book of “Counsels of Perfection,” a Baha’i Guide to Mature Living by Genieve Coy–on which many interesting sessions have been held.
Now, once again we enter into the season of selflessness when all attention is being focused on others, whether loved ones or strangers and especially upon children and those with few if any loved ones left; a season of sharing and caring unrivaled by any other.
Every human being needs to feel that their life has some value, regardless of age or circumstance in order to generate and “Keep Hope Alive”–as has always been Jesse Jackson’s motto. Consider also that most people are prone to live up (or down) to expectations. But we must remain able to tell the difference between the fact or feeling of inferiority as all of us are inferior in many things we cannot do well. The objective recognition of such lack of achievement is one indication of maturity–whether physical or spiritual. It is only when we spend too much time and energy comparing ourselves with others that we are in danger of developing feelings of inferiority. Then what we do about it is what determines our spiritual maturity –that determines the quality of the rest of your life.
“When the Most Important work is before us, we must let go the important one,” we glean from the Baha’i Holy Writings.”
During this year’s matchless season of selflessness may we as men and nations also vow: “When a thought of war comes, oppose it with a stronger thought of peace. A thought of hate must be destroyed by a more powerful thought of Love.” we are also reminded. (Investigate!)
