Despite all of its commercial trappings this season of the year is a favorite for many of us that it represents several religious observances and incorporates many holidays and occasions that unite families and friends. It also offers a welcome break from the everyday grind of previous months leading to it. There appears to be an air of love and childlike innocence that permeates through it regardless of age, making some of us more cognizant of life’s brief cycle from childhood to childhood while giving us all a legitimate excuse to be childish and indulge in fantasy.
It seems that far too many today have been brought up believing that love is something to be sought and found, initially perhaps in a parent and hopefully later in individuals or at least in one individual destined to be one’s “soul-mate.” What we do not understand is, “Although we inherently possess that capacity to love, there is much knowledge to be gained about love,” we read among my many favorite Baha’i reference books.
“It is not only important to know how to love others, we must also learn how to be loved. This can be accomplished only by becoming more lovable. If our primary aim in life is to love and be loved and yet we are unlovable, we will be constantly frustrating ourselves as well as others. We must therefore make a concerted effort to become more lovable, a fete best acquired by spiritualizing one’s habits.
One of the essential features of a habit is that you do not have to think about it. The action becomes automatic, but such automation required in perfecting any art. It is such spiritualized behavior that presents to others the most tangible evidence of our loving capacity and reciprocal potential.
Unfortunately we have become trapped instead into believing that youthfulness, good looks, clothes and expensive possessions make us “lovable.” It is on such erroneous assumption that holiday as well as year-round cosmetic and other commercial industries flourish. Such trends have confused love with lust and love songs of old have been replaced with “lust” songs.
The ultimate thing that makes one lovable is the acquisition of virtues. “In the beginning, God,” and if God is Love, then in the beginning, Love! It is therefore impossible to experience true love without acquiring virtues, likewise impossible without spiritualizing one’s habits. Becoming lovable makes one less critical and more loving (for better or for worse) as God loves us!
“What a power is love! It is the most wonderful, the greatest of all living powers,” we read in the Baha’i Writings. “Love gives life to the lifeless. Love lights a flame in the heart that is cold. Love brings hope to the hopeless and gladdens the hearts of the sorrowful. In the world of existence there is indeed no greater power than the power of love…Ah, me,” asks Ab’du’l-Baha, “Hast thou love? Then thy power is irresistible!”
