“To be hurt and forgive is divine. But to understand and not be hurt is greater!
This profound statement became a primary focus of mine upon first hearing it from the Baha’i Holy writings many years ago.
Everyone is hurt to some extent at some point in time by some harsh or thoughtless words or deeds. This basic fact transcends age, gender, social status, religious and/or political persuasion, national origin or any other man-made dividing lines so effectively drawn. This hurt that most of us are so deeply affected (and subsequently governed) by, differs only in degree and how it is handled that of course varies from time to time with any of us.
Once this erosive condition becomes firmly established we will invariably find ourselves looking for reasons to justify it. At one time I would leave every student audience in particular upon closing with the thought that nothing in life can ever happen to us, good or bad, is as important as how we handle it! In fact the only difference between obstacle and opportunity is attitude. That same attitude is also the difference between a stumbling block and a steppingstone.
The big challenge is perfecting the art of hurting without hating. This requires perpetual, consistent conditioning through spiritual deepenings and especially through frequent association with spiritual people. Too often we feel spiritually uplifted enough to think we can handle the uplifting of others on our own, only to find they can bring us down farther and faster than we can ever uplift them.
Consider the hot coals of a fireplace or even a charcoal grill that become an inferno while lumped together, yet how quickly any single one of them dies upon rolling out separately remaining alone.
I often think of our fore-parents who for centuries before court ordered desegregation had so many reasons to hate, yet seldom did. They were too busy pooling their spiritual and other strengths to support one another to “keep hope alive” as Jesse Jackson always urges. Why then, with so many more doors and opportunities available to us today, do we find so much hating and hurting? Are we falling asleep at the wheel, feeling that “we have overcome” simply because we can get deeper in debt today than ever before, spend money in more places than ever before while, (due to lack of qualification) continue making less money on fewer meaningful jobs while owning less than ever before?
How much longer can we allow ourselves to be people-programmed to keep hating and subsequently hurting-ourselves and others. Through such sad conditions the masses can continue to be easily manipulated by a few for the sake of control! Man is the architect and controller of hate and greed. (God is the architect and Controller of Love.) Under whose control do we wish to remain?
“To be hurt and forgive is divine” can give one a sense of sainthood. “But to understand and not be hurt is greater” denotes that one is more mindful of and sympathetic toward the source. It’s all part of perfecting the Divine Art of hurting without hating–until we become spiritually mature enough to understand and not be hurt!
