Dr. Jawanza Kunjufu’s book To Be Popular or Smart: The Black Peer Group asks us to think about an important question: What happens when a young Black boy must choose between being accepted by his peers and doing what will help him succeed? For many boys, this choice can shape their future.
Every Black boy is different. Some love school and learn quickly. Others struggle with reading, math, behavior, or confidence. Some hide their ability because they fear being called “different” or “trying to be better.” Adults must learn to see the child behind the behavior. We should ask, “What does this young man need to succeed?”
Black boys grow up in a society where they face unfair treatment, negative stereotypes, and low expectations. These experiences can affect how they see themselves. Boys need positive images of Black people who are educated, creative, disciplined, successful, and community minded. Self-knowledge can build competence and confidence.
Fear of failure can make a student give up. Fear of rejection can make him follow the crowd. Parents and teachers should teach boys that mistakes are part of learning. A young man should learn to say, “I can improve,” instead of, “I can’t.”
Parents must make education important at home. Ask about homework. Read with your son. Attend school meetings or find a surrogate you trust. He must be represented. Know his friends. Set clear rules and high expectations. Praise effort, responsibility, and improvement, not just grades. Most importantly, tell your son often that his future matters.
Teachers must see Black boys as students with potential, not problems. They should provide challenging work, encouragement, discipline, and respect. A teacher who believes in a student can help that student believe in himself.
Academic achievement cannot be left to parents and schools alone. Churches, businesses, coaches, mentors, and community organizations all have a role. Our community should create tutoring programs, reading programs, scholarships, internships, and safe places where boys can learn. Church buildings can be used as safe spaces for math, science, test taking skills and black role model development.
Our sons do not have to accept a dead-end future. When parents, teachers, students, and the community work together, education becomes a pathway to freedom, opportunity, leadership, and a better future. Melrose City, much of what is needed to make this happen is already in place. What we must do is to organize and activate this program for our sons. Speak to your neighbors. Be good to you.
