by Kamila Love
October is the month for Domestic Violence Awareness, an act usually hidden in plain sight that is ignored by many. Though the victims of domestic violence are usually women, men are also victimized. One in three women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner in their lifetime. Also 1 in 5 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of severe physical abuse by their partners.
There is no excuse for violence in a relationship, however there are several reasons why domestic violence may be in a relationship, stress, fear, the need to dominate and control a partner. This may be the result of low self-esteem, extreme jealousy or extreme temper.
It is very embedded in western society (or world-wide) that men have the right to control women, based on past ideology. Women not being equal to men is a concept that’s been around for a very long time and men have used various religious books to promote this theory that may now be subconsciously engrained in people’s minds.
Domestic violence is not only horrible for the two involved but especially for the children who live in the household. More than 3-million children witness domestic violence in their homes every year. This leads to confusion for the children and can affect their health causing frequent headaches, stomachaches and becoming extremely depressed. These children are now endangered just by the fact they may try to protect their mother, a situation that has put many a child at risk. Sadly, some children will continue the vicious cycle. The boy has witnessed the abuse and disrespect of his mother, the most valuable image of a woman for all children. He won’t see the importance of respecting women because his mother stayey and took it, making it acceptable. The same will go for the girl in the household but in reverse because she now sees this as how men/women relationships are. It is normal behavior and there is a very high chance that she will end up in an abusive relationship because her father is the man she will judge all other men by.
The first solution for situations like this is self-preservation. Get out of that relationship, get away from your abuser, if not for yourself then for the safety of your children. If you are with someone who makes you question your self worth, that’s not a relationship worth saving and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. Remember, abuse is not only physical, you can be the victim of verbal, emotional and mental abuse.
Second solution, if you really feel the relationship is worth saving then you must seek professional help, possibly for the entire family involved. One should never willfully stay in an abusive relationship. They need to make a choice, especially when children are involved. For many women leaving an abusive relationship because of the children may save a life.
I hope that this valuable information will encourage you to Stop living with secrets!
Twa-la
